Perspective of one officer's wife

I know my posts are typically of my girls' growth & progress. I love sharing all the new things they learn & pick up from week to week, but I want to switch gears and talk a little bit about my man.Yesterday we watched the movie "Courageous". For those of you who don't know, it is a movie centered around the moral/biblical responsibilities of a man at work & at home, as husbands & fathers. Most of the men in this movie worked for the Sheriff's Department. If you're not familiar with it, watch this clip before reading on.

It was a good movie, but it hit us pretty close to home. It has caused Ian and I to think and talk a lot about our roles in regards to his job on the police force.

Y'all honestly, I never wanted to be married to a cop. That life was never something I thought I would be able to handle because I've always been scared of being alone. I tend to see the gloom before the glory in most situations. How do I let my husband leave our home everyday knowing full well that it could be the last time I see him? How do I ever let go of him, knowing it might be the last time I'll ever get to embrace him? Ian is an invaluable part of who I am, and if something ever happened to him, how could I continue on without that part of myself? These are everyday worries that I carry with me until I hold my beloved once more. Yes, I worry, but the Lord has a way of delicately refocusing our views and that is why I'm not consumed by fear. I know my husband and I know my God.

Ian is more than my Hero! He is an amazing police officer and sometimes that means he's travelling the dangerous road. "Courageous", though a well made movie, does not even come close to portraying what Ian has to face on a daily basis. He sees and deals with pure hatred & evil. But he possesses a strength that I have never seen in anyone before. He knows what's right and fights for it! He is smart, calculating and always seems to be prepared for anything. He is never taken off guard because he never lets his guard down. He is always protecting. He's very open with me regarding the difficulties & pressures of his job, but he does not bring the street problems that he faces into our home. While caring for the needs of others, he still finds time to treasure his family and touch the heart of his wife. It might sound odd, but my worry for him when he's in the thick of trouble, means that someone else doesn't have to be scared anymore. When Ian is out on the job, I feel safe and proud, not alone and frightened. And that's only due to the peace of God. He began a work in Ian and I long before we met. Ian's purpose was to be a peace officer and so was mine; his job is to make peace and mine is to live in it! When he's out keeping us safe, I am with him. I send him out with a prayer for safety and greet him again with a prayer of thankfulness! And I can tell you now, after plenty of moments of dread, that I don't wish things were different. It is hard, but the hard is what turns the good into great!

The God that my husband and I serve has numbered our days, and nothing can happen to us until God desires our presence with Him and calls us to our heavenly home. Even when Ian is away from me, Jesus Christ still faithfully walks beside him and I trust Christ with Ian's care. Therefore, Ian possesses an armor that is unseen and cannot be removed or penetrated. He is covered in love and prayers and I am confident that he is as safe as he could ever be.

 One of my favorite hymns is "Because He lives". I often hum it to remind myself to surrender my fears.

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow

Because He lives, all fear is gone

Because I know, He holds the future

And life is worth the living, just because He lives.

"...If God is for us, who can be against us?" Rom.8:31.
Continue fighting the good fight, Ian my Love! 

Happy Sigh

Thankfully, our bedtime spats were short lived, but I tell ya...Phew! It sure was rough there for a while. Being a Mama is difficult sometimes. Last night was heavenly. I put them to bed, they went down without a fight and slept til 10am this morning! I hate it when my babies cry and wish I could fix it every time, but there really is something to leaving them alone to let them cry it out. They've learned that after I say goodnight, they won't see me again til morning and for that, I'm so thankful. Uninterrupted sleep is best for all of us!

They're in pullups during the day, diapers at night. We're in the same place potty-wise. We have plenty of days with wet pants, but they're doing much better at recognizing when they have to go #2 and telling me. They jabber to one another all the time & are starting to form sentences..."Sissy, where are you?", "there you are!", "all better", "I wanna hold you". They're also starting to sing along with us to songs in the car! It's adorable!

Another new development is rapidly approaching. We will probably be in big girl beds soon. They often nap at Nana's in pack'n plays and they've been climbing back & forth from one to the other.

Rather than putting them in toddler beds, Ian and I will be assembling the 30+ year old bunk bed he (all the Mader kids) slept in as a child. It's an incredibly fun bed and SO cool that his daughters will be sleeping in it now! We're probably still a few months out, but we're thinking about putting it together for their birthday in April. Pretty exciting!

Oh me, Oh my!

We've been experiencing a new phase 'round here..."Babes being boss". Karis & Kelsie have been far too demanding lately. They expect me to get them what they want when they want it, and their manners are lacking. They do not understand why they can't always have what they want. Well, it is now affecting our sleep.

2/7 - fed the girls an early dinner and wanted them to be full when I put them to bed, so I fed them oatmeal 30 min. before. Ian was off work, and a half hour after we laid them down, all heck broke loose. Our girls have never done this before, so it really took us by surprise. They screamed at the top of their lungs, so we kept going in to see what they needed & tried to help anyway we could. Every time we left, they screamed! Usually they're really good at communicating what they need/want. Y'all, it was so bad I thought maybe a scorpion had crawled in their jammies or somethin'. Checked for all the usual signs of illness. No fever, no diaper rash, no incoming teeth, no bugs in bed, no dirty or wet diapers, NO REASON TO BE CRYING! Since they'd never done this before, we figured that the oatmeal probably gave them an upset stomach. Kels cried/screamed until 2am before I decided to let Dada & Karis get some uninterrupted sleep. Took Kels on the couch with me and through her soft sobs, she was finally able to fall asleep. She looked like an angel in my arms. I put her back in her crib at 4am, went back to the couch to get some much needed sleep and that's when I hear Karis start up. Phew! Here we go again. I rushed in there to get her before she woke anyone up and she fell asleep on the couch with me. They always look so angelic & perfect when sleeping. I put her back to bed at 6 and they didn't get up til 10am. We were betting on this being a one time thing, but...

2/8 - ...nap time was no different. Major temper tantrum!! Cried for 30 min. When bedtime came along, it was a repeat performance. But Ian and I decided that this is an "I'm mad because I can't get my way!" attitude. Since we tried disciplining them with no affect, we decided that it was best to just leave them alone to work it out. Tonight Ian had to work, so with his authority behind me, I was determined not to tend to them til morning, even if they screamed all night. Kare stopped crying a half hour later, but Kels scream/cried from 7:15-10pm. Sounded like her leg was being cut off. She was so mad!! I turned the monitor down to the lowest setting and just let them cry/scream. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to endure!! I just kept reminding myself that sometimes the best thing I can do for my kids is nothing at all. 

2/9 - put them in bed, sang, prayed with them, kissed 'em, and told them I wouldn't see them til morning. They cried for 15 min. and are now silent. I know we're probably at the beginning of temper tantrum stage, but I'm hoping we nipped this one in the bud and this "crying at bedtime" phase will pass quickly. I will not let my kids rule the roost. They don't have to like it, but they need to learn to obey. As a parent, you never know how much you can endure until you're forced to go through it. This has been a good, hard lesson for us all to learn. Any cries hurt a Mama's heart. Your prayers are appreciated.